Friday, July 17, 2009

The Binky and Some Domestic Angst

(Pictured: Penny's friend Niels, P with her Binky, Britt).

The binky has become an important part of Penny's life, which is to say, she is completely and utterly attached to it. I have to hide it in my pocket and keep it out of sight, otherwise, if Penny sees it, she points and gesticulates and vocalizes until I give it to her. If she sees me stashing it, she will dig it out herself and put it in her mouth. If I ask her nicely, "Can I have the binky?" She will shake her head "No," with the binky in her mouth. "Of course not mommy, that's what you get for asking a yes/no question!" If I playfully try to grab it, I find it cemented in her mouth. Oh, this is going to be hard.

So, here's what I'm doing. We (as in me, Britt, Grandma, and Grandpa, AND Penny) still rely heavily on it for nap time and bed time, and for trips in the car. So, if we are not sleeping or riding, the binky does not appear. It is put away as soon as P wakes up. I will be the first to admit that I rely on it as much as she does. For Penny, it is comforting. It helps her fall asleep faster, and it keeps her happy in the car. But sometimes, she will chuck it while I'm driving, almost always while I'm driving on the freeway....and then she cries because she wants it back, which she probably should have thought of before she chucked it on the floor of the car.

Upon seeing children who appeared too "old" to have a binky, I used to think, "Oh, that child should not have a binky. What are those parents thinking? That is certainly not going to be my child." Now I'm regretting those thoughts. That could totally be my kid in another year.

So I'm hoping to wean Penny off the binky, starting with longer periods of time in the car without it, and attempting a nap or two without it. I have heard of parents having funerals for binkies, or cutting them down so they are harder to suck on, etc. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Next issue: Domestic Angst. In other words, "Whose Job is it to do X?" Princess Nebraska recently had a post about this very thing, in fact, she does an excellent job articulating how I feel sometimes. Raising a child is work. Some days are rewarding, and some days seem pretty thankless. Add to that all of the extra domestic duties that someone needs to do, and then it turns into a competition to see who is working harder. Why are we competing?

Enter the guilt cycle: I started writing this post several days ago, when I was feeling a little upset about having to do everything around the house. But then we had a nice weekend together, and now I can't believe that these complaints have even been typed by me. They must have been typed by some ungrateful woman who doesn't realize how lucky she is.

Who will clean up this cute little mess?

So for now, I will take it a day at a time, keeping in mind that some days are fantastic, and other days are hellish, and all days result in a mountain of dishes in our aggravatingly tiny kitchen.


sharnee said...

I know what you mean about the domestic stuff and the thankless tasks. Exactly! Some days are good and others aren't and I guess it's just part of it all. It's a rollercoaster, thats for sure.

Mindy said...

Great, I just read Princess Nebraska. I like her latest post that lists how she deals with the domestic angst issue. No binky suggestion, sorry. I'm paddling that boat right along with you, dear. :)

Lo said...

We skipped the binky thing entirely, because I sucked my thumb until I was old enough to swap it for cigarettes. Thankfully, I do neither now. I think I'd live through a few tantrums to give Pretty Penny life without oral fixation.
The domestic angst is just part of the package -- and it really does lessen over time.

Sheree, J, + j said...

Sorry, no binky help. Jack rejected his at 6 months. Jason and I spent the next 6 longing for it, and now we're glad it was never a big attachment.
As for chores? We have set chores. Me: wash dishes, clean bathrooms, laundry. Jason: vacuum, put away dishes, change catlitter, mow lawn. The actual execution of the chores is somewhat haphazard, and I have no advice for getting the other person to actually complete their chores. But divvying up the work in advance has helped our domestic tranquility.

w. wilson said...

Hey Katie- At 18 months, we finally got fed up with the binkie, especially since G started to want it for comfort all the time. We snipped off the end of one and threw the rest away. Since the binkie suddenly didn't work, G lost interest in it THAT day. He carried it around for 2 more days, and then it was done. In response to his pleas, we just said it was broken (and therefore we coudl not be berated or blamed). I am glad we did it before 2, Katie, because they get a lot smarter then. He would have known we were full of it. Good luck!

Momcat said...

Household balance out over time all by themselves. Momcat still always feels a bit guilty when the Fatherhead dusts- particularly after the dust has reached a measurable thickness. On the other hand, he does not like to work in the garden and only comes out to help if something is too heavy for me to budge unassisted. He also does not like to cook. Consequently, the charcoal grill is also my domain. He covers his tail on that one by coming out with a glass of Scotch and observing, saying cogent things like "That looks about done to me. In the house, he's the greatest and fastest kitchen cleaner there is. I have no idea how many years it took us to settle into these roles.