We are in the thick of toddler life, which means that we are mostly having a lot of fun. Penny cheerfully converses (with me and her dolls) all the live-long day, and she's gotten really good at entertaining herself while I'm cooking and cleaning and doing all of those other things that have to be done. But more than ever, I'm faced with myriad on-the-spot decisions about how to react in any given moment, and it hurts my head. I'm constantly asking myself, "How big of a deal is this, really? What should my reaction be?"
Example 1: Penny is etching the kitchen cabinet with a ball point pen.
Example 2: Penny is constantly sniffing air in and out of her nose to a certain rhythm, even though it isn't running and she doesn't seem to need a kleenex.
Example 3: Penny is dawdling all the way to the car, and once she's in the car, she refuses to get in her car seat, saying, "This how my sit?" as she sits on the cupholders across from her seat. "This how my sit, Mama?"
Example 4: Penny declaring she WANTS to go to time out.
See what I mean? #1 was kind of a big deal, but we'd never actually had a conversation about not scribbling on walls or cabinets before, and since that wasn't some innate kernel of knowledge already stored in her brain, how was she supposed to know? I reminded her that we only draw on paper, not on walls or on cabinets, and she hasn't done it since, nor did she fall apart when she thought she was in trouble, which is an improvement from past experience(s).
#2 drove me absolutely crazy, and she knew it too, which is why she kept doing it. I got her to stop by threatening to use the "booger sucker," which she despises.
#3. This tests my patience to the absolute limit. The dawdling, the messing around, the not getting in her seat. The problem is, I'm usually in a hurry to get somewhere, and then I feel like crap for rushing around all the time and not letting her take her time. Why are we always in such a hurry? Why is it so important to sit right down in her seat? And when she says, "This how my sit?" it is really funny. So I usually try not to laugh go along with it, as long as it isn't raining or snowing on me while I'm trying to get her in her seat.
#4. At the point where I've threatened a time out, and she agrees that it should happen, time out ensues. Call my bluff, will you? Plus I've started adding a minute. Then she's usually ok, as though she really did need a couple of minutes to think about things.
Then there are other thorny issues, like constantly agonizing over whether or not to make her try new things, so she can "be brave," or letting her just be herself. If I intentionally put her in situations she doesn't like, am I forcing her to be someone she's not? How will she know if she likes something if she doesn't try it? Where can I find that balance without adding pressure? This came up at Lagoon, obviously, but there are little things every day, like not wanting to pick a song during toddler group, or not doing something in dance class that everyone else is doing. And I usually just say, "That's fine, you don't have to." Because I don't think I need to be a complete jerk. Because at the end of the day, it's not that big of a deal when you're two. I have to remember that she's only two!
And then there's potty training. We are using cloth diapers 50% of the time at this juncture, which is mostly because I work part time. I'm so tempted to go cold turkey and buy real underwear and have potty boot camp, but the other part of me wants to wait until she warms up to the idea more. But when will that be? If I don't have her try it every day, will she ever want to do it on her own? I have no idea. Will the kinder-gentler approach eventually yield a result, or should I be trying harder to make "potty time" consistent? Do I need to resort to tangible reinforcement with little rewards? I'm not sure I want to go there. Do I even want to push the issue over the break when we'll be traveling a lot in the near future, or should I seize the next 5 days?
Parenting is hard. Note to self: She's only two.
It might be a little late in the game to try something new, and I'm so not an expert in this domain, but I finally decided to get over my hangups and give cloth diapers a try. I chose the gDiapers because I'm a sucker for their colors, and I had tried them before. I have two other friends here in town who use different brands, but love their cloth diapers so much, they inspired me to give it a shot. So far, it hasn't been too bad. I don't really have a "system" yet, but it's not as hard as I thought it would be. My friend Sheree makes it look really easy.
I still have issues with handling poo. Penny consistently has one über gross diaper a day (I should probably be glad there's only one). The lazier, less responsible version of me secretly prefers to just roll up the yucky diapers and throw them away, out of sight, out of mind. And what about wipes? I still use those, and they can't be good for the landfill either.
So, to tackle the poo, we ordered and installed a sprayer that attaches to the toilet, to make rinsing the yucky diapers easier, and it helps. Another friend who uses cloth told me that before their diapers go in the pail, they spray them with a solution of Bac-Out and water, and that keeps them from getting grossified before they go in the washer. Bac-Out is seriously awesome. We use it for pet-related stains all the time.
We spent a good part of today at Penny's cousins' house, and it wasn't hard to pack extra inserts and an extra pant in the diaper bag. We save the plastic bags our newspapers are delivered in, so when the über gross diaper occurred, I emptied it out in the toilet and put the yucky insert in the newspaper bag I had brought along.
I still feel like I need two diaper pails - one for wipes and disposables (which Penny still uses at night), and one for the cloth diapers that need to be washed. And I may find that I need more pants, liners, and inserts to get through the week, unless I am willing to do laundry every day. After all, we're only on day 2 of this grand experiment.
Ultimately, I am wondering if using cloth will speed up toilet training around here. The cloth diapers, while soft and comfy, are not as (eerily) absorbent as the disposables. And my hope is that the difference will motivate Penny to give up diapers entirely. Meanwhile, on the potty training front, Penny goes in the bathroom and closes the door, saying, "I going potty!" when she needs privacy, but will not sit on her little potty chair and would rather just go in her diaper, and doesn't want to discuss it, thank you very much. Frankly, she closes the door in my face.
But then Penny decided she wanted a soft seat that goes over the toilet, like her cousin has (thank Jeebus for older, wiser cousins!). So I let her pick one out in the store. I held up an Elmo seat and a Tinkerbell seat, and she chose Tinkerbell without a second glance at Elmo. To be fair, the Tinkerbell one is purple, so Elmo didn't really stand a chance.
Now she will sit on her fancy seat, for long periods of time, and nothing happens. And that's ok. I'm just happy she's trying it out. She gets a lot of reading done in there, at least. And she is really proud of her "fancy pants," especially the purple ones.
(This photo is not intended to be an advertisement for
the g diaper, the Boppy, or Eric Carle...but we really like all 3.)
So we've changed enough diapers now to have developed preferences about which ones work and which should never have been bought. The hippie-generic-chlorine-free diapers from Whole Foods are insanely large, and do not contain shitestorms because they are too loose around Penny's legs. We are liking the Pampers Swaddlers because they rarely cause a blowout, and they are nice and soft and smell like botanical gardens. But, we also know that they are EVIL. I cringe whenever I empty the diaper pail because I know that these diapers will not decompose for hundreds of years.
Britt's mom used cloth diapers when he was a baby. Most of the world uses cloth diapers, if they use diapers at all. I have been fantasizing about cloth diapers, but honestly, I have issues with touching and handling poo. This is becoming less of an issue. Once you have someone else's poo running down your leg as a result of a blowout, you kind of have to get over it.
Our friend Brandon asked if I had heard of "g diapers," and when Penny was 9 weeks old, I decided to order a starter pack so we could test them out. The little pants are very adorable and they fit well. They come with snap in liners, which are washable. The flushable inserts are made out of "fluffed wood pulp" which isn't a far cry from toilet paper. The kit also comes with a little stick that you use in the toilet to swish the flushable insert around so it breaks up. This was kind of fun. And it started disintegrating right away in the bowl. The insert falls in, give it a swish, and flush! Whee!
Sadly, the flushable inserts only lasted 2 days. Two! So here we are, with 2 adorable little pants and the snap in liners and no more flushable liners. Poo.
So now I am in a quandry. Do I order a case of the liners, knowing that they cost $52+ shipping? Will a case even get us through a month? Will my concern for the planet win out over my shrinking wallet? This is how they get you! *shakes fist*
Meanwhile, our friend Sheree has become a cloth diapering champion, and she recently shared some tips with me about her technique. The gDiaper experience has opened my eyes to the possibilities of non-disposable options, so I am planning to try a couple of different things, including the cloth diaper+pant that Sheree sent me. The problem is, I'm inherently lazy. Oh, and busy too. Laundry gets started and doesn't get finished....several times a day.
These are lame excuses, I know. There's nothing like emptying the diaper pail to kick my butt into gear.
